My hands were shaking convulsively. My knees were trembling. I wanted to move around, but I couldn't. I was locked in place like a deer in the headlights. Thoughts of people laughing at me and thoughts of saying the wrong thing circulated through my head. I imagined looks of confusion on my fellow students' faces.
If you haven't guessed, I was giving a speech. Yesterday, I had to introduce my semester topic of euthanasia to the class. I was extremely nervous, a habit I have been trying to break but is one that just won't seem to go away. Sure most people get nervous before a speech, but no one seems to embody that sense of fear better than me. I walked up and stood before my peers ready to talk, but once I started talking I wondered, "What the hell am I doing here?" Immediately after talking all I wanted to do was sit back down again. As part of my presentation I had a picture that I wanted to show the class to further my point. Once I lifted that piece of paper it started flapping rapidly in the air. It was flapping as fast as the rate of a hummingbird's wings.
After each speech the students have to write on note cards complimenting the speaker, giving one suggestion, and asking a question. I was scared to pick up mine; I envisioned all this negative feedback. It wasn't as bad as I thought. Most people noticed my lack of confidence and apparent nerves, but most also said I had a really good speech. They said there was no reason for me to be nervous or not confident. Those made me feel a tad better about myself. I also was told that I spoke too fast. Well, when I give a speech and all I want to do is sit down that is usually the best means to achieve what I want. I know I need to slow down and build my confidence, but it is just hard for me to do it. All I can do is practice. After all, if I want to direct movies I'm probably going to have to talk in front of people.
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